Ban Athlets Who Dont Use Steroids

Isn’t it
time for the brainwashed public to know the truth about steroids? In their
ideological zeal to ban “performance enhancing” drugs, national
governments and the various local and international sports federations have
ignorantly and self-righteously declared that steroid use is cheating,
dangerous, and stupid. In fact, in general, it is neither dangerous nor stupid
and it is cheating only because it has been capriciously commanded to be so.

In the
first place, with respect to the alleged danger, people ought to know that
there are dozens of steroids and it would be absurd to imagine that their risks
are identical. Moreover, steroids come in two broad classes – the orals and the
injectables. It is true that most of the orals have associated hazards but not
a single one of them is as hazardous as smoking or drinking. The principle
dangers of the injectables result from overdosing and, even so, they are mainly
such alarming matters as acne and severe headache. Every legally obtainable
prescription drug comes with a warning of dozens of worse side effects.

But what is that to you and me? Why should we legislate what risks people
should run unless they can interfere with the rest of us? In our democratic,
capitalist society many persons risk their last few dollars to start up
businesses which will probably fail. We do not stop them. If and when they
become multimillionaires we congratulate them. We don’t permit people to drive
without seatbelts because their accidents drive up insurance rates for the rest
of us but we let people engage in the far riskier business of climbing
mountains since the danger is mainly self-regarding. So enough virtue-parading

As for the so-called cheating, who really are the cheaters? The average steroid
user spends about $100-150 per month while the supplement industries grow rich
on suckering in the hundreds of thousands, possibly millions, of foolish people
spending up to $1000 per month on a variety of mumbo jumbo: androstenedione, 4-androstenedione,
19-androstenedione, androstenediol and the several 4, 5, 17, and 19 varieties
of androstenediol, tribulus terrestris, enzymatic conversion accelerators,
growth hormone stimulators, hormone-releasing peptides, testosterone
“boosters”, dozens of magical herbs and a ridiculous number of
“non drugs” with unpronouncable names so they are always abbreviated
such as HMB and DHEA. On top of all this, these folks who tend to be more
affluent than steroid users, are pumping protein powders into their milk – $9
per day – and gobbling down protein candy bars – up to $3 each – while saving a
bit of energy for screaming “Foul! Cheater!” at the poor steroid
user. They are told by the manufacturers and distributors of these outlandish
products that they look like steroids, feel like steroids and work like
steroids. So? Why not ban them like steroids?

But I say ban them and only them. For one thing, they don’t work as well as
steroids. More importantly, what care I as a fan that someone sets a remarkable
record because he used steroids? I pay money to see sporting events and I am
entitled to an athlete’s very best. Isaac Stern can afford a violin that few
violinists and no high school orchestra player can afford. Is he taking unfair
advantage of them? If I pay $60 to hear Stern and learn his tone was not up to
par because he was too lazy to bring his own violin and borrowed a $50 one from
a high school kid, I justifiably want my money back. What care I that he
usually plays upon a $200,000 instrument? I am not bothered by this; I want his
very best. Likewise, I want the very best an athlete can give me. I don’t want
to watch athletes who could have done better if only they had used steroids.
Talk of steroid performance as unnatural is as ridiculous as complaining about
artificial hearts. As for me I plan to have a T-shirt made for me that will
read on its front: “Use steroids or go home. Enough of crying and

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